Oh thanks Cameron and Osborne...
You are truly the gift that keeps on giving. I was looking for something to write today.. and boy howdy, you are the well that never dries up.. in fact you are a sink hole into subterranean pacific, and as fast as I squeaky-wheel my bucket down into that fetid darkness, I will never drain you dry...
Yes, you have gifted me... 'The Lobbying Bill' as it is colloquially known, or, with slightly less politeness, 'that fag-packet idea to bukkake jerk all over the unions that somehow ended up with all the charities, NGO's and... well anyone with any kind of opinion in the middle of the circle ready for an eyeful of Politico Jizz'.
To say ill conceived is a kindness. It is akin to detonating a grenade in your house to scare off a mouse, or perhaps enacting a Brazil-style bureaucratic nightmare against anyone who spends over 5k on anything that might, by accident, seem to effect an election result in order to hamstring the Union funding of your political opponent.
It was all looking so promising too. Ed had seemed to mishandle a whole Titanic load of Union power plays in the selection of Labour candidates. (I say Seem, because the whole thing was so complex and seemed so openly shady that my caffeine-defficient eyes start to bleed when I so much as glance at a report about it).
The time was ripe for a well thought out bill.. a scalpel.. that in the hands of a surgeon would make the tiniest incision, severing the link 'twixt party and funder, the life-blood would drain out of the union machine as people who joined purely as a 'Fuck you' to the Tories (such people do exist by the way) would instead spend their money on real ale and tickets to steam fairs... Labour would crumble, Obvs, because it's not like they've ever had any nod and wink donations from the wealthy is it?
Finally Cameron would be elected lifelong king of the world and be given a sixty foot high Robot suit from which to rule, the skies would darken and we'd all voluntarily troop down to Hades to begin our new lives as daemons of the outer darkness...
So, of course, they gave it to Andrew-Neutron-Bomb-Lansley.
So now if anyone thought I had enough money and influence to effect an election result.. in any way.. I'd have to register... You can't speak out on matters of public interest, either pro or anti government. Only News Media and Politicants themselves are exempt
Basically it's a 'Now Shut up EVERYONE' bill...
Ironic really that it has done exactly the opposite and got everyone talking about the bill.
More than that, it is nothing short of Miraculous that it has got everyone on the same side for once. Seriously, you've got Guido Fawkes publicly agreeing with Owen Jones. It's wonderful, I've never seen the country so united. It's like the Olympics for political people.
'Anti' Statements have also been made by:
The Taxpayers Alliance
Greenpeace
Conservative Home
Labour List
The BMA
38 Degrees.
and even...
The Electoral Commission
Yes.. The Electoral Fucking Commission have reservations. All we need now is Osborne and Lansley to issue a statement saying that 'This Bill is a Wanker and we're going to do a double arm clothesline on it" and we'll have a clean sweep
But Perhaps I've got it wrong, perhaps it isn't out and out undemocratic, unworkable lunacy. Perhaps David Cameron is a political genius and has finally created that 'Big Society' thing that he was so into a few years ago. A whole network of communities, who would normally be opposed, all come together for a common good.. the defeat of the most illiberal piece of nonsense I've ever bothered to skim my caffeine-hungry eyes over someone else's analysis of...
At least if that is all true and when we do find ourselves voluntarily marching down into underworld to 'enjoy' the eternal rein of the Dark Lord Cameron, we might find Owen and Guido performing the Bolero on the, now 'ex', lake of fire...
You are truly the gift that keeps on giving. I was looking for something to write today.. and boy howdy, you are the well that never dries up.. in fact you are a sink hole into subterranean pacific, and as fast as I squeaky-wheel my bucket down into that fetid darkness, I will never drain you dry...
Yes, you have gifted me... 'The Lobbying Bill' as it is colloquially known, or, with slightly less politeness, 'that fag-packet idea to bukkake jerk all over the unions that somehow ended up with all the charities, NGO's and... well anyone with any kind of opinion in the middle of the circle ready for an eyeful of Politico Jizz'.
To say ill conceived is a kindness. It is akin to detonating a grenade in your house to scare off a mouse, or perhaps enacting a Brazil-style bureaucratic nightmare against anyone who spends over 5k on anything that might, by accident, seem to effect an election result in order to hamstring the Union funding of your political opponent.
It was all looking so promising too. Ed had seemed to mishandle a whole Titanic load of Union power plays in the selection of Labour candidates. (I say Seem, because the whole thing was so complex and seemed so openly shady that my caffeine-defficient eyes start to bleed when I so much as glance at a report about it).
The time was ripe for a well thought out bill.. a scalpel.. that in the hands of a surgeon would make the tiniest incision, severing the link 'twixt party and funder, the life-blood would drain out of the union machine as people who joined purely as a 'Fuck you' to the Tories (such people do exist by the way) would instead spend their money on real ale and tickets to steam fairs... Labour would crumble, Obvs, because it's not like they've ever had any nod and wink donations from the wealthy is it?
Finally Cameron would be elected lifelong king of the world and be given a sixty foot high Robot suit from which to rule, the skies would darken and we'd all voluntarily troop down to Hades to begin our new lives as daemons of the outer darkness...
So, of course, they gave it to Andrew-Neutron-Bomb-Lansley.
So now if anyone thought I had enough money and influence to effect an election result.. in any way.. I'd have to register... You can't speak out on matters of public interest, either pro or anti government. Only News Media and Politicants themselves are exempt
Basically it's a 'Now Shut up EVERYONE' bill...
Ironic really that it has done exactly the opposite and got everyone talking about the bill.
More than that, it is nothing short of Miraculous that it has got everyone on the same side for once. Seriously, you've got Guido Fawkes publicly agreeing with Owen Jones. It's wonderful, I've never seen the country so united. It's like the Olympics for political people.
'Anti' Statements have also been made by:
The Taxpayers Alliance
Greenpeace
Conservative Home
Labour List
The BMA
38 Degrees.
and even...
The Electoral Commission
Yes.. The Electoral Fucking Commission have reservations. All we need now is Osborne and Lansley to issue a statement saying that 'This Bill is a Wanker and we're going to do a double arm clothesline on it" and we'll have a clean sweep
But Perhaps I've got it wrong, perhaps it isn't out and out undemocratic, unworkable lunacy. Perhaps David Cameron is a political genius and has finally created that 'Big Society' thing that he was so into a few years ago. A whole network of communities, who would normally be opposed, all come together for a common good.. the defeat of the most illiberal piece of nonsense I've ever bothered to skim my caffeine-hungry eyes over someone else's analysis of...
At least if that is all true and when we do find ourselves voluntarily marching down into underworld to 'enjoy' the eternal rein of the Dark Lord Cameron, we might find Owen and Guido performing the Bolero on the, now 'ex', lake of fire...
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