Wooo.. It's Lib Dem Party Conference. Lolz! Awesome...
yo! #ldconf #SadlyNotEvenTrending
The Put the Party in Party, and they kinda dropped a fair bit of 'Con' into conference... and they put all of 'Quisling' into Disappointing Quisling Douchepump liars...
I nearly voted Lib Dem once. It was at the last election, like many I was fooled by Nick Clegg's 'Human Mask'... or perhaps he was one of us, and they have some sort of lizard-innard replacer machine they use whenever somebody achieves high office*. He rocked it in the televised debates, made the Tony Blair Hand gestures seem fresh and even answered some questions rather than just flapping his mouth hole and making 'politician' noises... Yes, he looked like he could actually not only challenge the other two party leaders, but might also have some useful input into the political process...
(*I don't believe in Lizard People incidentally... Because that's what THEY would expect me to do.. ahem)
Hahahaha!
Still gives me a chuckle to think of that, and they wonder why people don't engage with politics. We all know the story since then, betrayal after betrayal of his members and supporters, capitulation after capitulation and those Tony Blair gestures now just look tworn and false, and so, in a way are more authentic.
So now it's the Lib Dem Conference, and sadly for them, Labour is trending on Twitter. They aren't. Kind of says it all. Even if it does say it all, I will plough on ahead, because.. well.. because I'm bloody minded and I still find the Lib Dems a crushing disappointment. They were packaged as the party for me, centrist but essentially good. A Library club kind of party... and now look at them...
You have all the members around the giant media exercise that is 'conference', and to the ground level members, it must feel like the worst parent's evening in history (Extended metaphor from Title Line alert!).
-So.. erm, how is little Libby doing?
-Oooh well.. she's.... she's.. erm...
-Come on.. tell it to me straight...
-Well.. not so good, all of her achievement pledges.. well.. she's.. she's failed all of them...
-All of them She hasn't done.. what.. any?
-No, in fact she seems to have done exactly the opposite in some cases..
-What.. well.. that's very difficult to understand.. how can something like that happen?
-Yes.. but.. well.. there are mitigating circumstances...
-Ok, tell...
-She's being bullied... all of the other kids pick on her...
-All of them? Even the weird niche ones...
-I'm afraid so.. they call her Useless and ineffectual and a waste of space and 'one up from Ukip' and
-Yes Yes, I get it...
-.. and bumbling and a pushover and a tart and...
-A tart? What...
-Well... it's a good thing she was born in 1988, because it seems that every time 'Tori' says anything she immediately drops her knickers...
-Oh...
Their faces crumble into despair.. what has happened to 'their Angel', that beautiful child full of hope and optimism. So they turn, and they look... and it isn't even their child any more... it's literally someone else. It's some grinning demon who is bullied, but also runs with the bullies in the mistaken belief that it gives them power and credibility....
You scream, but you can never wake up...
You are a Lib Dem Member...
Someone has posted an amusing metaphor on Twitter, which is one of the few mentions of them that doesn't directly call them douchebags, they say as far as the coalition goes they are "No longer in the Honeymoon Suite, but in a nice twin room and it's all very Stable"
Awww... How Cosy.
What they don't mention is the stirrups and the ceiling hooks and the butt plugs and the whips and gimp masks...
Because this relationship is less a marriage, and more the set up for some political based S&M slash fiction... and it's easy to see which party plays 'the sub'...
Which I will now do you the great service of not describing any further... You are Welcome...
yo! #ldconf #SadlyNotEvenTrending
The Put the Party in Party, and they kinda dropped a fair bit of 'Con' into conference... and they put all of 'Quisling' into Disappointing Quisling Douchepump liars...
I nearly voted Lib Dem once. It was at the last election, like many I was fooled by Nick Clegg's 'Human Mask'... or perhaps he was one of us, and they have some sort of lizard-innard replacer machine they use whenever somebody achieves high office*. He rocked it in the televised debates, made the Tony Blair Hand gestures seem fresh and even answered some questions rather than just flapping his mouth hole and making 'politician' noises... Yes, he looked like he could actually not only challenge the other two party leaders, but might also have some useful input into the political process...
(*I don't believe in Lizard People incidentally... Because that's what THEY would expect me to do.. ahem)
Hahahaha!
Still gives me a chuckle to think of that, and they wonder why people don't engage with politics. We all know the story since then, betrayal after betrayal of his members and supporters, capitulation after capitulation and those Tony Blair gestures now just look tworn and false, and so, in a way are more authentic.
So now it's the Lib Dem Conference, and sadly for them, Labour is trending on Twitter. They aren't. Kind of says it all. Even if it does say it all, I will plough on ahead, because.. well.. because I'm bloody minded and I still find the Lib Dems a crushing disappointment. They were packaged as the party for me, centrist but essentially good. A Library club kind of party... and now look at them...
You have all the members around the giant media exercise that is 'conference', and to the ground level members, it must feel like the worst parent's evening in history (Extended metaphor from Title Line alert!).
-So.. erm, how is little Libby doing?
-Oooh well.. she's.... she's.. erm...
-Come on.. tell it to me straight...
-Well.. not so good, all of her achievement pledges.. well.. she's.. she's failed all of them...
-All of them She hasn't done.. what.. any?
-No, in fact she seems to have done exactly the opposite in some cases..
-What.. well.. that's very difficult to understand.. how can something like that happen?
-Yes.. but.. well.. there are mitigating circumstances...
-Ok, tell...
-She's being bullied... all of the other kids pick on her...
-All of them? Even the weird niche ones...
-I'm afraid so.. they call her Useless and ineffectual and a waste of space and 'one up from Ukip' and
-Yes Yes, I get it...
-.. and bumbling and a pushover and a tart and...
-A tart? What...
-Well... it's a good thing she was born in 1988, because it seems that every time 'Tori' says anything she immediately drops her knickers...
-Oh...
Their faces crumble into despair.. what has happened to 'their Angel', that beautiful child full of hope and optimism. So they turn, and they look... and it isn't even their child any more... it's literally someone else. It's some grinning demon who is bullied, but also runs with the bullies in the mistaken belief that it gives them power and credibility....
You scream, but you can never wake up...
You are a Lib Dem Member...
Someone has posted an amusing metaphor on Twitter, which is one of the few mentions of them that doesn't directly call them douchebags, they say as far as the coalition goes they are "No longer in the Honeymoon Suite, but in a nice twin room and it's all very Stable"
Awww... How Cosy.
What they don't mention is the stirrups and the ceiling hooks and the butt plugs and the whips and gimp masks...
Because this relationship is less a marriage, and more the set up for some political based S&M slash fiction... and it's easy to see which party plays 'the sub'...
Which I will now do you the great service of not describing any further... You are Welcome...
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