Today I woke up 'Mildly Ill'
The worst kind of ill... at least for me*.
When I get proper ill, I usually go all out... I once left a sore throat long enough that I ended up in hospital, with my throat closed and suffering hallucinations. I once had a flu that ended up with three days of bed sweating and hallucinations.. when I.. well.. basically, you can guess where this is going when I get badly ill I usually hallucinate... and of course you get a few days off work to pretend it's a day off school... you can watch rubbish TV and generally feel really really really sorry for yourself...
But Mildly Ill is terrible. It doesn't stop you going to work, so you go, all snuffly and fed up.. and if you work in an office that is majority women, like mine, woe betide you if you so much as mention that you are feeling under the weather... The shriek goes up from all corners of the room. 'Man Flu'...
Ok, I understand there is some science about Male and female immune systems at play here, but I've had girlfriends. I know the Advert stereotype where the 'can-do' lady does all the jobs while her loser husband slopes around red faced, huffing lines of beechams powder are pretty much bollocks... Go on, try it.. You're both ill.. try putting all the jobs on your partner, whatever their sex.. you won't be ill soon... you'll be dead... and single... but most importantly, dead...
But I digress. I don't want sympathy, or even empathy.. I just don't want that 'mockery'. They have been given a license to laugh at my watery eyes and sneezing, knowing that I have no equivalent. If they're ill I can't shout, hahaha, Girl Sick.. or if it's the Time when Ladies are at their most fragile, I can't prod them with implications that they are somehow 'faking it'.. mainly because I wouldn't dare.. I've seen how quickly 'Fragile' can turn to 'Terrifying'
So it's an early night tonight, and plenty of fruit. But If I'm still feeling ill tomorrow. Well. Then it's hankyless sneezing time. If it's so funny this 'Man-Flu' they won't mind me sharing it...
(*Yeah Yeah, I know... I'll This excludes almost all illness more serious than colds or flu which I have never had, and hopefully never will, I genuinely do feel sorry for anyone struggling with real stuff and I'm a total baby when it comes to doctors and all that.. although my ear did close over once and I had to have a new auditory canal drilled through my skull... Cool eh?)
The worst kind of ill... at least for me*.
When I get proper ill, I usually go all out... I once left a sore throat long enough that I ended up in hospital, with my throat closed and suffering hallucinations. I once had a flu that ended up with three days of bed sweating and hallucinations.. when I.. well.. basically, you can guess where this is going when I get badly ill I usually hallucinate... and of course you get a few days off work to pretend it's a day off school... you can watch rubbish TV and generally feel really really really sorry for yourself...
But Mildly Ill is terrible. It doesn't stop you going to work, so you go, all snuffly and fed up.. and if you work in an office that is majority women, like mine, woe betide you if you so much as mention that you are feeling under the weather... The shriek goes up from all corners of the room. 'Man Flu'...
Ok, I understand there is some science about Male and female immune systems at play here, but I've had girlfriends. I know the Advert stereotype where the 'can-do' lady does all the jobs while her loser husband slopes around red faced, huffing lines of beechams powder are pretty much bollocks... Go on, try it.. You're both ill.. try putting all the jobs on your partner, whatever their sex.. you won't be ill soon... you'll be dead... and single... but most importantly, dead...
But I digress. I don't want sympathy, or even empathy.. I just don't want that 'mockery'. They have been given a license to laugh at my watery eyes and sneezing, knowing that I have no equivalent. If they're ill I can't shout, hahaha, Girl Sick.. or if it's the Time when Ladies are at their most fragile, I can't prod them with implications that they are somehow 'faking it'.. mainly because I wouldn't dare.. I've seen how quickly 'Fragile' can turn to 'Terrifying'
So it's an early night tonight, and plenty of fruit. But If I'm still feeling ill tomorrow. Well. Then it's hankyless sneezing time. If it's so funny this 'Man-Flu' they won't mind me sharing it...
(*Yeah Yeah, I know... I'll This excludes almost all illness more serious than colds or flu which I have never had, and hopefully never will, I genuinely do feel sorry for anyone struggling with real stuff and I'm a total baby when it comes to doctors and all that.. although my ear did close over once and I had to have a new auditory canal drilled through my skull... Cool eh?)
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