I have been having a busy and utterly stressful week at work. When I'm having a busy and utterly stressful week at work I like to do something that I wouldn't do under other circumstances. I eat a lunch.
To that end I went to the delightfully run down Elephant and castle Shopping centre, they have a cafe there that does good decaff tea, and sells samosas that taste wonderful but always have me feeling sick and regretful within 20 minutes.
On my way into the centre I saw a small lady dressed as a clown. Normally anything clownlike immediately incites my most primitive flight or fight instincts, and because she was so small, what she was doing was all that saved her from being the victim of a good ol' fashioned darwinian clown stomping...
She was making Balloon animals... and she made me this.
Isn't she adorable?
She's a duck made of Balloons... a combination of two of the greatest things in this universe.
So I bought it and took it to lunch with me. How could I, or anyone, walk past it?
As I walked around the centre I had great fun subtly moving it so it had the appearance of watching people as they passed (A trick I perfected when carrying a puppet around a festival for a whole weekend). The technique is to make sure it doesn't look like you're looking, but then appear to notice that the duck is staring at someone. They Smile, I smile and everyone has a slightly more fun day... Then we sat and had lunch together, as the picture shows (It's a lady-duck incidentally, the mascara is a dead giveaway). She was delightful company and judging by her happy expression, she enjoyed it too...
When I got back to the office I was questioned. 'Were they giving those out for free?' Who did you get that for?', 'Why did you buy it?' You know, the usual thing you'd ask a grown man without a child who had bought a balloon animal... and then someone suggested that it proved I was 'one of them'. I had done it to fit in because they're all 'so crazy' in that office.
I smiled politely, but what I should have said was:
"Fuck fucking off you bloody fool. I am not 'crazy' (which in reality isn't a very fun thing at all) I'm not Zany or madcap or quirky, I didn't do it to fit in with anyone. In fact I didn't buy it for any other reason than I simply couldn't ignore something that would give me that much simple joy... I don't act any way for any effect, but for my own amusement. It's a duck made of balloons. Were I to walk past that a small part of me would have died forever... I could no more have walked past that than I could a low wall without wanting to jump up and 'tightrope' along it, or smile at someone eating an ice cream..."
Does that make me childish?
Perhaps... But I'm not fucking Zany.. or Quirky...
But I will be taking my duck friend out nightclubbing tomorrow...
So... There.
To that end I went to the delightfully run down Elephant and castle Shopping centre, they have a cafe there that does good decaff tea, and sells samosas that taste wonderful but always have me feeling sick and regretful within 20 minutes.
On my way into the centre I saw a small lady dressed as a clown. Normally anything clownlike immediately incites my most primitive flight or fight instincts, and because she was so small, what she was doing was all that saved her from being the victim of a good ol' fashioned darwinian clown stomping...
She was making Balloon animals... and she made me this.
Isn't she adorable?
She's a duck made of Balloons... a combination of two of the greatest things in this universe.
So I bought it and took it to lunch with me. How could I, or anyone, walk past it?
As I walked around the centre I had great fun subtly moving it so it had the appearance of watching people as they passed (A trick I perfected when carrying a puppet around a festival for a whole weekend). The technique is to make sure it doesn't look like you're looking, but then appear to notice that the duck is staring at someone. They Smile, I smile and everyone has a slightly more fun day... Then we sat and had lunch together, as the picture shows (It's a lady-duck incidentally, the mascara is a dead giveaway). She was delightful company and judging by her happy expression, she enjoyed it too...
When I got back to the office I was questioned. 'Were they giving those out for free?' Who did you get that for?', 'Why did you buy it?' You know, the usual thing you'd ask a grown man without a child who had bought a balloon animal... and then someone suggested that it proved I was 'one of them'. I had done it to fit in because they're all 'so crazy' in that office.
I smiled politely, but what I should have said was:
"Fuck fucking off you bloody fool. I am not 'crazy' (which in reality isn't a very fun thing at all) I'm not Zany or madcap or quirky, I didn't do it to fit in with anyone. In fact I didn't buy it for any other reason than I simply couldn't ignore something that would give me that much simple joy... I don't act any way for any effect, but for my own amusement. It's a duck made of balloons. Were I to walk past that a small part of me would have died forever... I could no more have walked past that than I could a low wall without wanting to jump up and 'tightrope' along it, or smile at someone eating an ice cream..."
Does that make me childish?
Perhaps... But I'm not fucking Zany.. or Quirky...
But I will be taking my duck friend out nightclubbing tomorrow...
So... There.
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