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Monday 26 March 2012

Opinion: Dr God... Would he need to Advertise?

What would you say if three MPs from the three major parties wrote a letter to the Advertising Standards Agency saying that they demanded that the allow the advertising of 'Magic Spells' as a working, healing practice...

Well... You'd probably laugh loudly and disbelieve the notion...

Ok... What if they went on to demand that if the ASA couldn't come up with 'scientific evidence' that 'Magic Spells' do not work they would go to parliament about it.

You'd probably be twirling your fingers by your ears at this point, in a juvenile gesture that implies a mental issue. (But obviously in a vaguely ironic, Ricky Gervais fashion, whereby you are clearly not satirizing any specific condition)

Ok... What if those demanding, accepted that it didn't work 'all the time', but didn't seem to think that was a problem, and cited their own, utterly unverified experience as proof that 'Magic Spells' actually work.

By now you'd probably be wishing I'd shut up about it...

Ok, what if I told you these 'spells' were being uttered in the direction of a God... Most likely the Christian-lite deity of the Church of England

Well, the penny would drop, you'd immediately understand and you might even be moved to joyous applause at what a clever textual device I just used.

Yes, three honest-to-goodness REAL MPs, obviously with VERY little to do (I mean, we've only got NHS reform going on... Oh, and a budget... And Cash for Cameron.. And Leveson... And a Global Economic crisis... And Constitutional issues in Scotland... And... Oh... You get the point) are actually mounting the campaign detailed above, albeit without the 'hilarious' satirical diversions.

Anyway, these (alleged) 'Utter Fruitloops' are asking the ASA to change the guidelines so 'anyone' can legally shill God as a Healer...
They want it to be legally able to put out an advert saying: 'Prayer can cure your hidesously Prolapsed Rectum'... Or some such thing...

Ok... First. If you believe in God, you believe he can heal... No big shakes for a 'First Cause' of everything. Maybe he also has little to do and will drop everything to Treat your athlete's foot if you're too busy to go to a chemist... Maybe.

That said, does 'God' really need to be able to advertise? He is pretty well known around the world, despite the best efforts of the likes of Dawkins, the Late Christopher Hitchens and all that 'Science'. Seems open and shut to me. If he does exist, then all creation already serves as an advertisement. Surely to do more is at best 'gilding the lily'

Also, who are you to advertise on his behalf? Maybe he's got enough on his plate without you whoring his service to every dumbass with a cold. After all, in that world-view, he put all the illness there in the first place, presumably as part of his 'great plan' are you really that confident that you'd argue that he should 'heal' something he's obviously gone to great lengths to set in motion.

So... Bit presumptuous there for a start.

Now I'm an atheist, so maybe I don't understand all the arguments here. That said I would never want to insult a theoretical super-being by being a condescending fusspot who wants to 'stand up' for them like they were a poorly puppy at a rescue centre. This is supposed to be GOD. If he wants the ASA to lift this regulation, I'm sure he'd find away... If not something Old testament and grandiose, I'm sure he could at least influence the ASA directly... Why use try-hard MPs as a go-between, especially if they don't even have the faith to believe that God can 'get things done' on His own...

Perhaps they are just trying to piggy-back on the recent anti-secularism movement for their own ends, hence my decision not to name them (5 seconds on Google should do it)... If this were to be the case, I'm sure their God will see through such a shabby trick and punish them accordingly...

Speaking of 'Shabby Tricks' how about using unverified anecdotes for your point... I.e: my hand got magically healed... But asking for a full scientific investigation from your opponent? Pretty good that, particularly since the Church itself is loath to put religious ideas to the test under laboratory conditions. This is for the simple reason that it tends to put on rather a poor show. No. A wise person of faith accepts that they should let the world of science and faith remain separate, as the Kingdoms maintain, at best, an uneasy peace.

So how could the ASA prove that prayer doesn't heal... Particularly in light of the earlier caveat that it isn't always effective? Well, 'proving a negative' is difficult to the point of near impossibility... Oh and it's utterly unscientific as well... The correct way round to word that request is: prove that prayer does work...

Oh and you would need to keep that prayer a secret from the subject in order to rule out the Placebo effect making an appearance. (The most startling thing in medicine in my mind, a regular, earthbound and measurable scientific miracle... And one that is actually getting more effective as we continue to evolve)

So... To those MPs: if you submit 'Prayer' to the same process as medical drugs go through before they can be 'advertised'... And they pass the double blind trials at a rate that betters Placebo, then we can talk about your request.

Or... A quicker way to prove to me the 'Truth' behind the effectiveness of prayer is this:
Pray for me to convert.
If there is a God, should be simple enough to do... And I will immediately denounce this post as heresy...

Of course if I remain an atheist I will assume that prayer doesn't actually work and we can all go on with our lives.

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