How many jobs can you think of where a Penis is a necessity to complete your task?
Sperm Donor perhaps?... although to be honest the testes are doing most of the actual 'heavy lifting' there...
Top Class Gigolo? Again... that equipment is handy, but not essential... just ask Young Miss Anne Summers, a young lady who owns a shop devoted to the noble idea 'Better Living through Technology'
Snow Signer? Yep... apparently you can 'Write your name in the snow' But since I haven't heard of this ANYWHERE save the punchlines of American Sitcoms I'm not sure it 'exists enough' to actually count... and either way the effect is easily recreated, substituting the penis for having instead: a funnel, a cavalier attitude to personal dignity and a lot time on your hands.
So... not many jobs that actually have external genitalia as a 'fundamental requirement'... in fact I would classify it as a 'scarcity'... or maybe a 'Don't be such an utterly absurd divoid McDumble-twat'
Now... You can debate endlessly about whether gender roles have a part to play in the employment world... and by that I specifically mean 'You'... because I know better than getting into a debate with partisans. They are dull people.
Obviously, by now, you all agree with my argument about cocks and their necessity 'In the work place'. How could you not... it was argued so well?
Anyway... A particular set of 'Cocks in the workplace' have decided that they only want 'Cocks in the workplace'... And that Work Place is... The Church of England...
To be fair Women are allowed to be priests. So that's all fine and dandy and good and 'equal'... as long as you aren't a priest with ambition to get 'ahead in the business'
Nope... at 'Footsoldier' level they love 'the skirts'... it's just that above that level they still love 'the skirts'... instead just using them to wrap 'the cocks'...
(please note: The use of the word 'cock' to denote the male gender IS going to continue... if the idea of male clergy and church leaders being referred to in this way bothers you... I'm delighted you have read this far... it's use is no reflection on whether or not they ARE a cock, just that certainly possess one)
Yeah, that progressive bastion of peace and love to all men, The Church of England have voted to deny women the chance of becoming a bishop.
Yes ladies... you can be a physicist seeking out and explaining the beautiful processes that make our wonderful universe actually work... but you can't be the boss of a bunch of people who have decided amongst themselves that it was done by 'Magic' and it's their job to tell absolutely everyone about it...
Some of you may see an undercurrent of religious cynicism in that previous paragraph, perhaps hiding between hilarious analogies and masterful use of language.
Yes.
I am an atheist. I can't deny it.
So why take an interest?
Why not just steal and reword the Bill Hicks joke: "Cool... now there are Priests of both sexes I don't listen to"
I could ramp up the Britishness perhaps: 'Crumbs... from here on in the clergy will contain two genders whose proclamations have no bearing on me, by crikey'
Nope. It's better the original way. 'Brevity is Wit'.... apparently.
So why do I care... and why would I tempt the ire of the tiresome type who thinks that hearing a couple of (admittedly outstanding) recordings makes them an expert on Bill Hicks, comedy and the entire universe by disagreeing?
Well. We're not in America. The 'Church of England' bit should have been a give away.... and although it seems to be a British tradition to pretend that we're intellectually/culturally superior to our Baseball inventing cousins*, this is utterly unravelled by the fact that they have a constitutional seperation of Church and State... and we don't...
So think on next time you make a 'Guns and Bible' type joke...
(*Don't think we patronise the Americans? You weren't on Twitter when Obama won and the site was a sick-making stream of people saying 'Well Done' from behind their computer in a country where David Cameron is Leader... yeah... they may be leading the world in many technologies and gave us Jazz and Blues and the concept of Pornography with Attractive people, but we still give them a pat on the head and a biscuit when they 'Get Democracy right')
So yes. 'Our' national church is not seperated from our state. In fact they are utterly bound together, not just in pressure groups or tax breaks. No. There are actual seats in The House of Lords, our second chamber of parliament, that are reserved only for Bishops.
Honestly. Sounds silly? Well... the whole thing is. We can't vote these people out. They influence our lawmaking. They debate complicated financial, ethical and scientific issues that effect all of our lives, regardless of whether we believe as they do.
Yeah.... so, The Church of England has an actual, honest-to-goodness say in the running of the actual country... not just on religious matters... on everything. And 'Everything' effects everyone... kind if goes without saying doesn't it...
And for some reason they seem to think that you simply can't do that without a penis and testicles hanging between your legs...
Thanks to them there remains, in 2012, areas of our political hierarchy that are utterly inaccessible to women... oh and anyone with a rational thought process as well of course... but that is a debate for a different day... and probably another person.
(Note: Sorry I have neglected this blog for a while. Been writing a new novel, doing a whole load of 'Real Life stuff' and beginning a new album for 2013, 'The World is Coming to get you'...
So look out for all that... )
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