Has Democracy gone back to it's Cradle in order to have it's Breakdown in Comfort?
As strange as it seems, this may well be happening. There is a possibility in this election that nobody will win, or everybody will win... or a whole load of somethings like that. Maybe the 'Caricature Nazi Party' will win seats and be able to enact whatever bats-ass crazy policy they can dream up in their 'Extras in Mel brooks The Producer's Wannabe' Heads. Perhaps they'll just split it up into tiny bits and give some to each party, or even allow the whole kit and caboodle to be bought by a leading Olive manufacturer, sales of which have been booming since I decided they didn't like salty eyeballs filled with bin juice. Maybe all, Maybe Nothing. We'll find out tonight.
Or perhaps not. Maybe they'll just decided to run it again and again in an effort to create the world's first economy solely based on the 'ballot-counting' industry
As Greece is mainly credited with developing the democracy experiment, perhaps it's time for them to try something new. shake off the dustiness of the age old system, that in theory gives every man a voice, but in practice can give you Cameron, Miliband and... and.... the other guy... you know... the one person in Cameron's outbound text box who didn't get 'LOL' texts and is unlikely to be bussed to Glasgow to meet those Crazy, 'Facebook Loving', Polis they have nowadays.
Some ideas to get them going.
1: Turn the Tables
Take a few random ballot boxes, take a few Random Votes from them. Make these people run the country.
Kind of a Democracy in reverse. Instead of getting a representative for the people, just pluck a representative out of them, put them behind desks and leave them there until they manage to either stumble upon a solution, or, try to escape, fail to escape, realise that armchair punditry is all very well but there's actually a hell of a lot of reading to be done in order to even begin to understand what the hell global finance is about and finally die a natural and humane death from despair before being replaced by another luckless voter.
Of course anyone who does manage to sort out this situation, whether fisherman or stripper, should then be made Emperor for life.... they will have earned it.
2: Sim City Competition.
An obvious one. Why they don't already do this is beyond me. Sim City, for those who don't know it, is a Simulator, of a city. Still with me. It's a game that goes right back to the early days of computing. (Not Retro like you think it... Sonic isn't Retro, Street Fighter 2 isn't Retro... If it didn't come on a tape that was duplicated in somebodies bedroom, legitimately, because that's where the company was actually run from, it isn't Retro Gaming, ok?)
It tests your ability to run an economy, deal with finance, face down ecological crisis and environmental change and manage populations. Sound good?
I know I know, it's just a computer game, a simulation, but is it really a worse indicator of how good you will be at running as country than how good you are at spitting soundbites out of the front of your head without looking like something made up by parents to frighten children? (Poor, poor Gordon)
Maybe if more of our political class had been forced to spend more time in their teens staying in and playing lonely games of Sim City on tear soaked 8-bit machines instead of taking cocaine (or of course, not) and smashing places up for fun we'd have better politicians... or more likely just many more inadequate bloggers, only with richer parents.
3: Talent Show.
Ok... You don't like the computer game idea. Not real world enough, but there are very few other ways to test how good someone is at managing something as large as a country, except to just, you know, let them get on with it... elect them... and allow them to say they are staying put for the next 5 years so yah boo sucks to you and your oiks objections'
But have you ever noticed how people with one talent, often tend to be good at other things?
So why not choose people that demonstrably have at least one talent. Who knows, perhaps the years of concentration required to be a fire juggler is actually the perfect preparation for being a foreign minister dealing with angry German Creditors. Maybe the unflinching, inhumane cruelty of teaching a poor dog to prance on it's hind legs is exactly the sort of uncaring, emotionless mindset that you would need to decide which areas of a health service need to suffer cutbacks.
The upside for this is the people would still get a vote, and since the traditional way to hold this kind of vote is through premium rate calls and texts, if it proved popular it could save the Greek Economy. If it became a genuine hit the 'Greek Election Weird Talent Show Selection Thing' might become an exportable format, franchised around the globe. Then the Whole world could take part in deciding which 'Singer Who looks more Frumpy than You might be used to seeing', 'Unthreatening Multi Racial Street Dance Group' or 'Pitifully mewling and staring up at it's owner with fear filled eyes just five minutes before coming on stage, Dancing Dog Act'
I'm sorry if you think I'm being flippant, or uncaring about the plight of the Greek population, I'm not... Reality is doing that already... and of course democracy itself, which is, metaphorically, waving it's bare-ass in the face of the Greek Population and laughing... and weeping... and pissing itself...
Best of Luck to all of them.
As strange as it seems, this may well be happening. There is a possibility in this election that nobody will win, or everybody will win... or a whole load of somethings like that. Maybe the 'Caricature Nazi Party' will win seats and be able to enact whatever bats-ass crazy policy they can dream up in their 'Extras in Mel brooks The Producer's Wannabe' Heads. Perhaps they'll just split it up into tiny bits and give some to each party, or even allow the whole kit and caboodle to be bought by a leading Olive manufacturer, sales of which have been booming since I decided they didn't like salty eyeballs filled with bin juice. Maybe all, Maybe Nothing. We'll find out tonight.
Or perhaps not. Maybe they'll just decided to run it again and again in an effort to create the world's first economy solely based on the 'ballot-counting' industry
As Greece is mainly credited with developing the democracy experiment, perhaps it's time for them to try something new. shake off the dustiness of the age old system, that in theory gives every man a voice, but in practice can give you Cameron, Miliband and... and.... the other guy... you know... the one person in Cameron's outbound text box who didn't get 'LOL' texts and is unlikely to be bussed to Glasgow to meet those Crazy, 'Facebook Loving', Polis they have nowadays.
Some ideas to get them going.
1: Turn the Tables
Take a few random ballot boxes, take a few Random Votes from them. Make these people run the country.
Kind of a Democracy in reverse. Instead of getting a representative for the people, just pluck a representative out of them, put them behind desks and leave them there until they manage to either stumble upon a solution, or, try to escape, fail to escape, realise that armchair punditry is all very well but there's actually a hell of a lot of reading to be done in order to even begin to understand what the hell global finance is about and finally die a natural and humane death from despair before being replaced by another luckless voter.
Of course anyone who does manage to sort out this situation, whether fisherman or stripper, should then be made Emperor for life.... they will have earned it.
2: Sim City Competition.
An obvious one. Why they don't already do this is beyond me. Sim City, for those who don't know it, is a Simulator, of a city. Still with me. It's a game that goes right back to the early days of computing. (Not Retro like you think it... Sonic isn't Retro, Street Fighter 2 isn't Retro... If it didn't come on a tape that was duplicated in somebodies bedroom, legitimately, because that's where the company was actually run from, it isn't Retro Gaming, ok?)
It tests your ability to run an economy, deal with finance, face down ecological crisis and environmental change and manage populations. Sound good?
I know I know, it's just a computer game, a simulation, but is it really a worse indicator of how good you will be at running as country than how good you are at spitting soundbites out of the front of your head without looking like something made up by parents to frighten children? (Poor, poor Gordon)
Maybe if more of our political class had been forced to spend more time in their teens staying in and playing lonely games of Sim City on tear soaked 8-bit machines instead of taking cocaine (or of course, not) and smashing places up for fun we'd have better politicians... or more likely just many more inadequate bloggers, only with richer parents.
3: Talent Show.
Ok... You don't like the computer game idea. Not real world enough, but there are very few other ways to test how good someone is at managing something as large as a country, except to just, you know, let them get on with it... elect them... and allow them to say they are staying put for the next 5 years so yah boo sucks to you and your oiks objections'
But have you ever noticed how people with one talent, often tend to be good at other things?
So why not choose people that demonstrably have at least one talent. Who knows, perhaps the years of concentration required to be a fire juggler is actually the perfect preparation for being a foreign minister dealing with angry German Creditors. Maybe the unflinching, inhumane cruelty of teaching a poor dog to prance on it's hind legs is exactly the sort of uncaring, emotionless mindset that you would need to decide which areas of a health service need to suffer cutbacks.
The upside for this is the people would still get a vote, and since the traditional way to hold this kind of vote is through premium rate calls and texts, if it proved popular it could save the Greek Economy. If it became a genuine hit the 'Greek Election Weird Talent Show Selection Thing' might become an exportable format, franchised around the globe. Then the Whole world could take part in deciding which 'Singer Who looks more Frumpy than You might be used to seeing', 'Unthreatening Multi Racial Street Dance Group' or 'Pitifully mewling and staring up at it's owner with fear filled eyes just five minutes before coming on stage, Dancing Dog Act'
I'm sorry if you think I'm being flippant, or uncaring about the plight of the Greek population, I'm not... Reality is doing that already... and of course democracy itself, which is, metaphorically, waving it's bare-ass in the face of the Greek Population and laughing... and weeping... and pissing itself...
Best of Luck to all of them.
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