Rationality.

I have a rationality 'Blind Spot'... I've had it for years... And it effects my behaviour...

Ok... First things first. I am very firmly in the 'Rationalist' camp. Starsigns? Bunk. Homeopathy? No evidence beyond Placebo. Afterlife? Nonsense, I have no fear of the worms or beetles that await me.

But, I have fallen foul of a self created 'Mind Trap'... And if that has penetrated myself to such a degree, it does make me wonder about how 'Beliefs' work.

Ok... Here's my trap. When walking down the street, I avoid things on the pavement if they come in threes. You know what I mean, those morlock hole style hatches into the underworld that litter our pavements. I link this in someway to some unspecified bad luck 'points system', which can be cancelled out if I walk on a two-er or a oner. But those pesky Threes.

Ludicrous I know. Uttely stupid. I know this.

I can trace it back to a story I heard about two friends. The first shared this belief, the second didn't... and to prove it, ran and jumped on the last hatch of a three-er, which collapsed beneath his weight and sent him thigh deep into the ground, with somewhat of a bruised ego.

Now, at first I didn't take this seriously. I saw it more as a game, you get 'Good' points for a Two-er and Bad points for a Three-er. It was like a collect-em-up game in real life.

Them I noticed something strange. Without thought I was veering towards Twos and away from Threes. My body was taking me there automatically. I'd noticed I'd gone off course, look back and there was an Unlucky three-er, that my legs had decided to avoid, seemingly of their own volition.

This both interested and horrified me in equal measure. Nobody likes to think they are susceptible to mental traps. So I decided I would stop it. Cease the game. Reset the behaviour back to 'Zero'

...but of course I can't. I can intentionally walk on three-ers, I can laugh at myself for avoiding them, I can even try 'Not to Notice' them. But it can never go back to how it was, I have elevated these utterly inconsequential pieces of the pavement to significance and although I know they have no influence over my life, they do have a tug on my thoughts. I will always notice that I've walked on them and either congratulate myself for overcoming the thought trap, or chide myself for even noticing that it was there...

The useful upshot of this is I have been given an insight into the formation of supersticious/religious beliefs, and in particular, how hard they are to completely dispense with. I am an atheist (perhaps an antitheist, but that is for another day) and have never knowingly had to rid myself of an ingrained 'belief'.

It is hard. Very hard. The body doesn't want to do it... After all, a high percentage of our learning is by association, so breaking that down with merely with evidence and facts, when it seems the cells of our own bodies want to cling to it is a courageous act. It is to be applauded.

I am still trying to develop a system where I can render this thought process 'never formed' in my own head. If I crack it I'll let you all know here...

Getting rid of unhelpful beliefs in ourselves might well prove more and more important as rationality comes under increasing attack.

I'll keep you posted.

(Side note: a quick hello to my girlfriend who has threatened to start reading this blog. Hello! She can confirm that the above is all true)